“You do realize you’re on shot number 5 of straight vodka right?”

The little voice in my head was starting to get annoying. Also, my stomach as well, when was the last time I had eaten? Maybe I better slow down and eat something.

Today has been a roller coaster, making me long for the mind-numbing bliss of a vodka-soaked mind. And seeing those stupid pictures didn’t make things any better.

But Kelly will be here shortly, and we have work to do, and I don’t feel like talking about the things in my head tonight. So water and pasta it is.

“Why is it that I always want garlic bread when I have none in the freezer? “

“Watch me have meatballs and no sauce too.”

Aha! The goods! Hidden behind the meatballs, is a rolled bag with four slices of garlic bread. My mouth instantly waters at the impending taste as my stomach cries out for substance.

“Now watch you be out of parmesan cheese “ Kelly laughed as she entered the kitchen catching me in my half-drunken state of excitement.

“Do you want me to cry? Don’t put that negative energy in the air” I laugh as I shoot her a pouting face and smile back just as quickly.

“I’m never out of cheese,” I say as I grab a large container out of the cupboard and shake it around like a maraca.

“So, is the heavy carb load a sign of something or are you just hungry?”

“Just hungry”

I slip my shot glass into the sink full of water as she started spreading out the contents of her bag on the table.

“That’s a lot of fabric girl. Holy cow!” It looks like she’s brought an entire fabric section of the hobby lobby into my dining room.

“So, you wanna talk about?”

I gave her a puzzled glance as I dumped some bow ties into the boiling water. “My hunger?” I asked as I cut up a half stick of butter and plopped it into the mix, stirring everything together as it melted.

“The pictures of them on insta yesterday, the fact that you look like you’ve been pounding shots since 2am this morning. Not to mention…” She picked up an empty bottle of rum from one of the chairs.

She hopped up on the counter and sat the bottle next to her.

“She always knows how to read me and how to pin me in a corner.”

“Honestly, I’d prefer to be slightly numb to the entire thing, it just… hurts a bit too much.”

“I can understand that, but you know bottling things up… she dropped the rum bottle into the trash bin… it only causes prolonged hurt and feeds the vices.”

“I know, I know. I’m just not really busy with the shop right now and don’t have time to have a full-on mental breakdown.” I popped a piece of pasta in my mouth checking the softness and turned back to the stove.

After our impromptu dinner and sewing session for her daughter’s Halloween costume, we said our goodbyes and I found myself plopped down in front of the TV with a bottle of Moscato and a re-run of Sex and the City.

I woke in the same position I fell asleep in…

A.G