The things we keep to ourselves… they haunt us.
She sat on the hard floor, tracing the grooves. The music up slightly too loud for a calm evening, the tequila bottle now rolled across the floor towards the trash bin.
This was day 3 of the same pre-sleep routine.
Loud music, a bottle or two depending on how quick she could feel the escape creep on. Whatever she needed to sleep a full night and not dream of the monsters that haunted her.
They’ve been visiting more frequently lately, despite her medication, despite her mindset work… despite her friends trying to keep her busy.
Her parents made it clear that anymore outbursts would be the final straw and off to an asylum she would go for care and treatment. And that’s far from where she wanted to end up.
She wasn’t a loon.
She wasn’t a celebrity needing an escape from the “stresses of fame”.
She wasn’t sure if what she saw was real. Or why she was aware of their existence, why she felt their pain…
She only knew they were getting to her, things were becoming overwhelming.
It was becoming to much to bare. The insanity of it all confusing her.
She needed to find a way to deal with them head on. But, drinking to sleep seemed safer for now.
No one cares about a drink or two after work. She thought. As long as no one knows how big those drinks are… she downed the last of her cup and sat it on the table.
Fumbling slightly to the bin she picked up the empty bottles and placed them inside.
“Are you going to place the papers inside this time?”
A voice spoke so gentle she almost missed it.
“I saw you didn’t like some of the drawings you made last night, they can hide the bottles today.”
She looked at herself in the mirror, no one but her stood there leaning on her desk. She took a deep breath.
Looking over the desk she gathered the prints she had discarded yesterday, the designs where all wrong so her boss said.
She crinkled them up and placed them around the bottles to quiet the sound as she tied the bag shut.
“Sleep well lidia.”