Here’s where I stand… 7

Hey you…

My phone buzzed its way across the desk and lite up my room. There he was.

It’s been at least a week since we last talked. I told him I needed to be alone. I needed time to think and to organize my thoughts, and him trying to help me, wasn’t helpful at all.

Are you sleeping? Emma, can we talk yet?…

What put me on his mind tonight? Was he just bored?

I stumbled across the floor, forgetting where I had pushed some of the boxes to before my faint attempt at a good night’s sleep.

I took my phone to the living room, poured a cup of coffee and turned on my series of fairy lights that trailed across the walls, and traced out my living room. They gave the room just enough light read by and made me feel cozy whenever I turned them on. I turned the tv on and pressed play on the Detective Lynley episode I had been watching earlier.

Sitting down with my coffee, I looked around the room filled with partially packed boxes and the array of items I’d already changed my mind on and unpacked. I peeked at my phone as it chimed again reminding me I hadn’t opened the text messages… And I still didn’t want to, not yet.

Sighing out of frustration. I leaned back in my chair and sipped my coffee. Sleep wasn’t happening, so why not help me keep my mental state awakened with some caffeine.

He’s waiting on my decision. Whether or not I’m leaving or staying and what that means for us… And as the boxes scattered across my house and voicemails left unanswered show…I can’t make up my mind.

Mike makes me wonder if he is a smart move.

And that’s where my friends tell me I’m self-sabotaging.

I need to move in 2 months. And I have the option to transfer to one of two locations… One moving me to London, someplace I’ve always longed to visit, if not live. Truly a dream come true.

Or, one that keeps me close to him. A job just as good in every way except for the location of course. Nothing beats London views in my opinion. I’d be trading travel for staying put, and putting myself out there to try something that I’m more unsure about than moving to a different country.

Matters of the head / Matters of the heart.

Part of me wants London, it’s been a part of my life since my first memory. But then there’s Mike… And part of me wants to know how long this feeling will make it. Part of me knows that if I leave, I will be leaving a huge part of me behind and that I will always wonder ”what if”.

What if I tried…

What if I loosened up a bit and stopped living my life so planned out and tried the ”roll the dice and see where they land” lifestyle my mother keeps telling me would do me some good.

What if seems to be all I can come up with anymore.

Th legal pad sitting on my table doesn’t show signs of helping either. Page after page of lists and the infamous pros and cons column. I’m glad it’s only Friday night and I’ve got the weekend to work out my headspace in silence. Trying to battle with my head while keeping up face at work is not so very easy.

It seems everything is demanding my attention these days and nothing is getting the right amount of it…

Maybe I need to get out of here…

A.G.

A writers time is now

“We’re not meant to be normal”

I’ve heard that so many times in the last week, in regards to writers and the overly creative hearts.

We really aren’t meant to be normal, not even a little bit. We can pretend we enjoy the nitty gritty of the real world and work right along with the best of them, building our name, climbing the ladder of success.

But are we truly happy doing it?

We can justify the money, the acknowledgment and the sense of achievement we get from moving on up in the real world…. but are we really truly happy and fulfilled?

I feel, in most cases, we are not.

Not unless that ladder and those achievements revolve around our need to be creative. Because that is our real world.

Some of us are not meant to feel fulfilled working the 9-5 gimmick.

I honestly end up feeling so stifled and hushed once I reach the point in my muggle job where things are running in an autopilot mode and I no longer feel challenged.

In some cases, I like it. The more I run on auto at work, the faster I get things done and (in reality) the sooner I am released to focus on my writing.

But In most cases, that isn’t how things play out.

I usually end up with more on my plate simply because I’ve proven myself to be a reliable asset and dedicated worker .

If only they knew I really just wanted to leave , sip on some tea and get lost in a few far away worlds.

I know this started off as smart and turned into a ramble rant lol but heck, that’s how my mind has been running lately.

Might as well just go with it

Jen

Promoting myself… or something along that lines.

Slowly but surely I’m making myself seem more professional and less like a newbie who has no idea what they’re doing. 

I’m currently watching the tracking info and awaiting my box of freshly printed business cards! 😊

Now, I found that business cards for a novelist/ writer can be a touchy subject. Some people say Go for it! It’s a great little promotional tool that most writers over look…”

And then I find other articles that say it’s a “…waste of time and money…” πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ  I guess it really all depends on your outlook.

Well, I’ve decided to give it a go anyway. (Props for being spontaneous JenπŸ‘πŸΌ)
I look at it this way, I have one book currently published and a couple more on the way…and I need to get my name and stories out there more. Currently I’m not doing so hot in the publicity area (more like sucking terribly at something I know hardly anything about)… πŸ˜žπŸ˜’. 

So for me, the business cards will serve as a friendly, not so pushy way, to say “Here, check out my website” or “Yes, I’m on instagram. Follow me if you’d like.” 

Or “Hey I know a great editing service… it’s linked on my website…” 😊 there’s so many ways to slip your name out there πŸ’š without forking it down someone’s throat. Lol 

I personal feel like I have ample oppurtunites to hand out a card. Especially with starting my new job, people are always needing my number or work email for one thing or another… so why not take the opportunity to drop info on my other job?  

Granted, I can’t just walk around promoting my books when I should be focusing on my other duties. But if the opportunity presents itself, I’m going to take it!  

Now to just buckle down on the editing and set more of these little story ideas free πŸ‘©πŸ»β€πŸ’»

Jen

The next Novel and NaNoWriMo!Β 

Bella lounging per usual 

Seems anytime I’m working I find her snoozing. Oh, to live the life of a dog sometimes πŸ™‚

November is coming up so much quicker than I had expected, so many deadlines coming due soon and NaNoWriMo starts in just 11 days! I must say I’m beyond excited to participate this year, I’ve  been tinkering with my next novel for some time now and I think nanowrimo is just the boost and writing frenzy I need to get it completed. πŸ’»πŸ™ŒπŸΌ if you’ll be joining in the fun be sure to let me know! I’d love to meet some fellow writers 😊 my username on NaNo is Jen_Onedge 

Which means these next few days are all about planning and time managing.  (In other words To-Do lists! πŸ€“πŸ˜Š)

Along with being part of National Novel Writing Month, I will be throwing my pen in with a fantasy Short story contest as well.    Be sure to check it out and give it a go.  As a writer you should always be up for critiques, contests are the best way to work your craft and better your skills.